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Rest in Peace, Rose
October 25, 2003 11:17 pm

Days like today I really hate not being closer to my family. :( My mom called this morning to tell me that my step-grandma died last night. She and my grandpa were on the way home from dinner when she felt like she had mild heartburn. They stopped to get her a drink, got home, sat down to watch TV and within minutes she was gone. My grandpa said something to her and when she didn't respond, he looked over at her and she was slumped over and unconscious. She never said a word it happened so suddenly. The ambulance and hospital did all they could but it was too late. She had surgery on her shoulder a few weeks ago and they suspect that she might have had a blood clot from that. Otherwise, she was very healthy...exercised, tried to cook in a fairly-healthy manner, etc...

I talked to my sister tonight. She and my BIL went down there for the day and, on their way home, wanted to check on me. She said most everyone is holding up okay but my grandpa is definitely not doing well, not that we'd expect any differently. That makes me so sad. He's barely slept since Thursday night (less than 30 minutes total). My grandpa isn't the emotional type at all and I don't think I've ever seen him cry. And while I never saw them show much outward emotion towards each other, you could always tell how much they loved each other. Rose wasn't in our lives that many years (I *think* they married in 1995...I'm having trouble remembering) but she was a special lady and a great addition to our family.

Rose loved to cook and collect cookbooks, so we always talked those topics when I was home. She was a fabulous cook. I got a couple recipes from her when I was home a few weeks ago. She had said she'd give them to me next time I was home but I asked for them then instead. I'm glad I did. She had recently purchased this great old cookbook from the early 1940s. It talked all about how to entertain, how to plan menus plus the recipes. We sat down and looked at it together, laughing over much of it. How I'd love to have that book now. :(

I've spent much of the day in a mess. I'm sad about her passing away, I'm sad that I can't be with my family & helping to take care of things, I'm sad that I'm here alone without anyone to hold me while I cry and just sit in a comforting silence, I'm sad at the thought of going to bed alone tonight, I'm sad that soon I'll likely be even further away, I'm so very sad for my grandpa, I'm sad for my family, I'm sad that she was taken from us without any warning.

I'm leaving either tomorrow night or early Monday morning for the visitation and funeral and will be back late Tuesday night. Then I'm going back next weekend for an already-scheduled trip...probably my last one with a purpose of just relaxing before we move. My mom wanted me to cancel the weekend trip but this has reminded me how very important it is to keep any plans I make with others as you never know when it could be the last time you see someone.


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