I just gathered our mail and found a letter from an address I didn't recognize. But I *love* getting actual letters, so I tore it open. I started reading and the tears began falling almost immediately...

You see, it was 10 years ago today that my rapist came down to my town, found me after school and told me that he had AIDS. When I thought the worst was finally behind me, that the pain he had caused me wasn't really going to kill me, I find out that his actions might. Obviously, I was quite devestated. 15 years old. So began the next several years of AIDS tests, just so I could assure my mind that I wasn't going to die because of him.

This "10th Year" since the rape has been an emotionally tiring one. 10 years of screwed up things because of him. I had been doing well until that anniversary. And since then...

As I was coming up on this anniversary, I've been praying a lot about it. I've asked God many, many times to show me a sign, of sorts, that what I've gone through hasn't been for nothing. In my head, I know it hasn't. I became an advocate for victims. I gave more rape awareness talks than I care to count. I volunteered on the rape crisis lines, so women wouldn't have to feel as alone as I did. But in my heart, its just been a rough year. And I've asked God to give me some comfort that its been worth it.

So, I get this letter today. Its from a girl that I spoke to on the rape crisis line back in January 1997. She had sent the letter to the rape crisis center and they forwarded it to me. She poured her heart out about how much comfort I had given her that night, how I had truly saved her life because she really thought about committing suicide the night she called us, and how she has included me in her prayers since that night, thanking God for my presence on the other end of that phone call. As she "talked", I began to recall that phone call. And her scared and desperate voice on the other end. I pulled out my rape journal (I have kept a journal of every person I've spoken to on the rape crisis lines, after my rape talks, etc...and their situations). I found her entry and cried even harder as I had read what I wrote in there about her.

And now I get it. God answered my prayers. He showed me how much my work has been important. My rape and *everything* that came with it...its all been worth it, for that letter. I'd go through it all again because it'd mean that I could provide comfort to someone(s) again...


Quote For The Day: To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.


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