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No Way Out...
2001-08-24 1:02 p.m.

10 years ago, I was wondering how in the world my life was going to work out. Wondering how I would get out of the situation I was in. A scared, pregnant 14 year old victim (although I now prefer survivor) of rape. And then I get the news this week that my scared, pregnant 12 year old student had killed herself. She saw no way out of whatever. We don't know what it was. Was she so scared about the reality of her pregnancy? Scared of how her parents were going to treat her? Upset because her boyfriend didn't agree on the baby's name? What was it that drove her to take such a drastic step? And what kept me from doing it?

As much as I have fought depression in my life, there have only been two times that I have seriously contemplated suicide. And neither time was as a result of my rape. But I wonder why. What made me not even think about it? I hurt so much for this girl. And her family. And the future she'll never have. And the father. And the baby that will never have a future. And for the baby I lost. And for the way it effected my future. How I wish I had taken a little more time for her. Is there anything that could have saved her? Anything that would make her realize that there was hope for the future?

Smile! Your smile might be the only one someone sees all day long...


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