Sunday Lonlies
June 08, 2003 10:23 pm

Have I ever said how much I hate Sunday evenings? They always seem so lonely and depressing. I don't remember when I started associating Sunday evenings with depression and lonliness but it happened at some point in high school, I think. Then my sophmore year of college it really hit. I had a rough first semester (for various reasons). Sunday evenings I worked in the education library and would spend most of it shelving materials. I would be so depressed and lonely that I'd spend much of that time crying. And then my junior and senior year my roommates would always be off with boyfriends and Jim would usually be studying (not anything different than any other day...) I thought it'd be better when I was married but those feelings have cotninued, whether or not I'ma ctually lonely and/or depressed. I haven't actually felt like that for awhile but tonight it hit me again. Jim was reading and I wanted to watch TV but I also wanted to be with him. He needs quiet to read, so he wanted to be in a different room. Not his fault or anything but, man, those feelings came flooding back. I've been trying to keep myself busy but I'm not succeeding. Usually my Trillian list is full of people and tonight no one is on. 30+ people (work and friends) on my list and not a single person is on. Called my mom and sister and they were both out. Called my friend in VA (who is ALWAYS home outside of work) and she wasn't home. I know people aren't actually avoiding me but it always feels like it when it happens on a Sunday night. And then with all this rain, my joints ache pretty badly. Last night they all started hurting and I couldn't figure out why (it wasn't supposed to rain until today). But within the hour, it was pouring. I like knowing when rain is coming but I'd rather my body NOT be the weather predictor!


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