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Finding Our Groove
November 20, 2004 7:20 pm

My dear Jim is now on the other side of the world, the family has all gone home and I'm now a "single" mom for a year. And holy moly! I didn't realize just how valuable an extra pair (or couple pairs!) of hands were with a little one!! I can't seem to find the time to do much of anything. But it has also been wonderful to have her all to myself. :-) We joked that the only time I got to hold her between Jim & the family was during feeding times and only then because no one else has "the goods". Of course I didn't mind sharing her as I knew the time would be coming when I was all alone. And now I'm enjoying that time.

She's starting to smile & giggle quite a bit. It cracks me up every time. And she ADORES looking at herself. We have a little mobile-like hanging over her changing pad. It has a mirror on it and she just smiles away every time she's on it. We were at Target this week and I found a mirror that attaches to the crib railing. I got it for her and she loves it. And I love listening to her loving it. :) I've been trying to catch her cooing on video for Jim but she goes quiet every time I pull it out. She'll smile and make the laughing face but won't verbalize. Just like in the womb when she wouldn't kick for him, would stop moving when he came in the room, etc. :)

In two weeks she's going to day care for the first time. And I'm not sure I'm ready!! It actually won't be too bad though as I'll be just a couple rooms away. (We sometimes have on-site childcare at my volunteer office.) I'm trying to work my way up to being able to leave her most of the day, if needed. So I'm starting slow--will do the on-site day care a couple times and then go from there. She's just so little!! Plus I have some 'guilt' about it. 1) She's soo little! 2) She's already got a "single" mom and no other family around. I don't want her to feel abandoned. 3) I'm doing it for a volunteer position and not so I can go out and earn money we need. On the other hand, I know I need to be able to get out for my own sanity. It'll make me a better mother if I can stimulate myself too. And I know the care will be very good. She's just so small. :(

My little one is stirring, so I better close this off and get ready for feeding time and Trading Spaces! :)


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